i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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