So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
