Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
