No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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