Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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