census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just gargled with NyQuil
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
