Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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