just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
