Don't make out with my wife yet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
