Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
