You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
