You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize