He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
