if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can text with my tongue
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
