Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
