bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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