I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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