I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
