my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
