There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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