Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
