She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
