you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
