I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Mom said you looked used
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
