This is not my ceiling
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
