At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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