not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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