But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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