did you get engaged???
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
