life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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