I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
