so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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