I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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