escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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