Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
