This girl is more easily done than said...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
