i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
