He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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