my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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