i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
