From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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