Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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