Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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