How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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