dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
