Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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