Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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