I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
