Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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