u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize