I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
