STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
