my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
