I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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