I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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