She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
