Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
