one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
