yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
