he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
